Arsip Tag: love

Something Left Behind

Something really messed up my mind few days ago.

I met someone by chance, my senior when I was studying in college. Then we had our dinner together. He suddenly said something that really made me shock. We were talking about something that oh-not-so-important in the beginning, it’s like “things we can do when we are trapped in a traffic jam”, but then he suddenly stared right in my eyes and said:

“I put something in your heart but you didn’t even realize it”

My heart beat fast.

So fast.

I asked him what did he mean.

“See? You didn’t even understand”. Said him.

“So tell me more”, I replied.

“I put something, right in your heart, and I wish you understand, but you didn’t”.

I kept in silence. I didn’t know what to say. Not only because I still doubt of what he said, whether it’s the same of what I thought–or not, but also because I thought he didn’t really mean it.

“But now it’s over. Let’s get it over”.

“Are you joking?” I asked.

“I’m not”

“Yes, you are! You are laughing when you said it. You didn’t really mean it” I accused him.

“Everybody say so. Everybody thinks I’m joking when I tell the truth while I’m laughing”. It’s my bad.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I smiled cynical.

“I just wanted you to know by yourself. I needed you to realize it yourself. But you didn’t”

“It’s your fault to never let me know”

“I know. That’s why let’s get it over. Forget everything we have in the past”

“Do we have? What do we have?”

“Memories”

“What memories? We didn’t even have it”

“We have. Everything. Everything about us”.

“Which one? Our-jogging-moment is a memory?”

I need to confess something. I used to like him. And I was a girl who really hate to do sport. But when I knew this guy likes jogging much, no need to think twice to buy a pair of sport shoes in order to do sport with him. And the good news was, sometimes we spent our time by jogging together.

“Everything we did together, every song we sang together, every jokes we laughed together..”

I blinked my eyes many times. And I felt my tears was gonna run down. Something spread my heart. Something crossed my mind.

If only he told me the truth.

If only he knew I was feeling that way too.

If only we can easily say what we feel.

Iklan

25 already

Yeah, 25 already. 3 days ago was my birthday.Β I’m getting older, and (hoping) getting wiser in every step I take in life. Β And I’m so grateful. I got a great gift from Allah–my bachelor degree on August 29–while 4 years ago I got the same great gift in my birthday, accepted as a student of Universitas Muslim Indonesia. Never enough to say thanks to Allah SWT for the rest of my life.

The first congratulation greeting came from an ex-bf by text (but I think I shouldn’t copy the text here, right? ). And so many wishes came from friends in social and real life. And the most popular wish was “Hope you get married soon”. Amin for that wish, guys.

Yeah, 25 is a “warning age” for some women–if you know what I mean. I realize that I should have got married on 24 or 25 but you know, we can’t get EVERYTHING we want. We may met a wrong one (or may be many wrong ones ? ) before we meet the right one. But still, I believe that love will find a way.

A friend of mine, Wirda said 25 is totally lucky number for me. I don’t really understand what did she mean with the “lucky” in her wall post, but I really thankful for the wishes πŸ™‚

I made a little celebration in my birthday and graduation day at once, I invited some close friends to come to my home and having a lunch (but unfortunately it became a dinner -_- ). But still, I’m so grateful having close friends like them, even sometimes they are annoying πŸ˜€

IMG_7418The close friends

IMG_7430

IMG_7431My surprise birthday cake came from my two brothers and sister

IMG_7443The first cake goes to my brother

What makes that day so special? “He” was on the spot, sitting next to me, for the first time in 4 years our friendzoneship πŸ˜€

Thank you for my dearest fellas Kiki Pratiwi Ayu Lestari, S.S , Afni Hardina, S.S , Siti Badriyah, S.S for everything we have been through in our last 3 years. And thank you for Muh. Hamdi Shadiq, S.S for being the best couple for Kiki πŸ˜€

Thank you for Dedi Junaedi (S.Kom wannabe), knowing you is a surprise, and every single thing happened between us is another surprise in it.

My wishes, of course, may I can be better, and I do hope I get my dreamy job soon (FYI, I’m already become an unemployment, as I’m no more a student), getting married with the right one. And of course, make my family proud of who I am.

Late night, a text come to my inbox and it really touch my heart:

Umur mulai berkurang, tapi semoga kebaikan selalu bertambah

That was from Aris, my classmate when we were in Kindergaten πŸ™‚

Who Am I

Who am I to miss you when you’re apart? Who am I to make you stay with me even just a while? Who am I to love you? Who am I to have a goodnight kiss every night? Who am I to chase you? Who am I to have your “good morning, dear” text every morning? Who am I to miss your hug? Who am I to stare at your warm eyes? Who am I to miss your cute smile? Who am I to give a kiss on your cheek? Who am I to stand by you on your special day? Who am I to become your priority? Who am I to be jealous when you’re with her?